Dumb Marketing Tweets

Justin writes mean things about dumb tweets

Earlier this week I took Agorapulse for a spin. It’s a big social media management system. The sort of thing agencies like us could use to help manage lots of Facebook and Twitter streams for clients. It aggregates Facebook messages and “engagement”. It’s a pretty boring bit of software on the Facebook side. Unless you get dozens or more Facebook messages every day, it’s not very useful.

On Twitter, however, it’s more interesting. It helps you compile streams of tweets from users anywhere in the world when they use certain words or phrases. And this, dear reader, is where things fall apart quickly.

As an example, I tried this with some clients of mine related to healthcare sector. This is a dumpster fire of angry “Deplorables” (no, really, it’s in their name) complaining about Obamacare.

Next, I try it on our @SuperPixelco Twitter account. I set it to search for various keywords related to website design, development, etc. It’s basically a bunch of other people feverishly jerking off to the idea that this what will make them rich. Like this goober with the handle “SalesTeam6”:

#webdev #webdesign via @GoDaddy Help clients create a content hub to attract and retain customers

Or this person:

“Wondering how a professionally-designed website can benefit your business? Here are five ways…”

And

“Are you just starting out in graphic design? Check out our list of must have tools…”

So this has inspired me to write my own tweets. I’d like to share them with you now:

Wondering how a professionally-designed house can benefit you? Here are five ways!

  1. Walls
  2. Ceilings
  3. Doors and windows
  4. Electricity
  5. Indoor plumbing

Are you just staring out as a carpenter? Make sure you have these 5 must-have tools!

  1. Hammer
  2. Screwdriver
  3. Tape measure
  4. Pencil
  5. Pliers

Hashtag business hashtag success!

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